Whenever You're Ready

What the word ‘over’ really means is that your expectations of a place, your fantasies of who you might have become there, have been confounded by the persistence of you.” -Gideon Lewis-Kraus


so I most likely won’t be going to school next year because I have no money to go to school next year. which means absolutely everything in my life is going to dramatically morph in a negative way. I won’t be graduating for many more years, since I will have to save up the money to go since I have none. And who knows if I will be given the same financial aid at that point, so I could have to save up even more. I can’t stay here but I also can’t go there.

I just want to be back in Germany walking around for hours and drinking Club Mate and sitting on grass in parks and benches off paths and rocks by rivers reading books and watching the external world pass me by. 

But instead I’m here and everything I’ve known and worked for and dreamed of is slipping through my fingers. 

ok apparently getting into Berghain two nights in a row is a big feat.

i finally have something to say now if someone asks what my greatest accomplishment has been.